Terms of Use

1. What this site is (and isn't)

You're Probably Not Dying ("the Site") is, at the time of writing, a satirical information hub. It is currently operating in joke mode while we build the actual thing. The Site is intended for entertainment and general informational purposes only.

The Site does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. The content is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment from a qualified healthcare provider. Nothing on the Site should be interpreted as a recommendation for any specific course of action.

2. Acceptance of these terms

By accessing or using the Site, you agree to be bound by these Terms of Use and our Privacy Policy. If you do not agree, please do not use the Site. We may update these terms from time to time, and your continued use after changes are posted constitutes acceptance of the updated terms.

3. No warranties

The Site is provided "as is" and "as available," without any warranties of any kind, express or implied. We make no representations or warranties about the accuracy, completeness, reliability, suitability, or availability of any content on the Site.

Any reliance you place on information from the Site is strictly at your own risk. We disclaim all warranties, including but not limited to implied warranties of merchantability, fitness for a particular purpose, and non-infringement.

4. Limitation of liability

To the fullest extent permitted by law, in no event shall You're Probably Not Dying, its operators, contributors, or affiliates be liable for any direct, indirect, incidental, consequential, special, exemplary, or punitive damages arising from or related to your use of the Site, including but not limited to:

• Health outcomes, decisions, or actions taken (or not taken) based on Site content
• Loss of data, profits, revenue, or business opportunities
• Errors, omissions, or inaccuracies in any content
• Unauthorized access to or alteration of your transmissions or data

This limitation applies whether the alleged liability is based on contract, tort, negligence, strict liability, or any other basis, even if we have been advised of the possibility of such damage.

5. Intellectual property

All content on the Site — including text, illustrations, logos, layouts, and code — is the property of You're Probably Not Dying or its content creators and is protected by copyright and other intellectual property laws. You may not reproduce, distribute, modify, or create derivative works from any Site content without our prior written permission.

6. User conduct

You agree not to use the Site to:

• Violate any applicable laws or regulations
• Harass, abuse, or harm another person
• Attempt to gain unauthorized access to the Site, its servers, or related systems
• Interfere with the Site's normal operation, including by introducing malware or excessive automated requests
• Misrepresent your identity or affiliation with any person or entity

7. Third-party links and services

The Site uses Google Fonts, which loads font files from Google's servers. The Site may, in the future, include links to or content from third parties (including healthcare providers, supplement retailers, and advertising networks). We are not responsible for the content, accuracy, or practices of any third-party sites or services. Visiting third-party sites is at your own risk.

8. Changes to the Site

We reserve the right to modify, suspend, or discontinue the Site (or any portion of it) at any time, with or without notice. We are not liable to you or any third party for any modification, suspension, or discontinuation.

9. Governing law

These Terms are governed by the laws of the State of New York, United States, without regard to conflict-of-law principles. Any dispute arising under these Terms shall be resolved in the state or federal courts located in New York.

10. Contact

Questions about these Terms? Reach us at hello@youreprobablynotdying.com.